Gamers Rejoice Worldwide: Famously Bad Director Uwe Boll Retires

Uwe Boll, notorious german filmmaker and all around swell guy, has announced that he will be retiring from filmmaking this week.

Feel free to take a few moments to celebrate however you deem it appropriate before we continue.

For those not in the know, Uwe Boll is a german filmmaker who has a longstanding career of making some of the most critically panned movies in the history of Hollywood. Stretching back over 25 years in the industry Boll has been prolific (though not necesarily talented or even competent) in producing movies for world wide audiences. Boll is most infamously known for adapting video game titles such as Far Cry, Postal, House of the Dead, BloodRayne, In the Name of the King, and Alone in The Dark. All of which ended up as huge financial losses and horrible abominations of cinema that enraged gamers throughout the gaming community. Only made profitable due to Boll exploiting a loophole in german tax laws that placed a large part of the financial loss on the government. Loopholes which have since been fixed.

In an interview Boll said he was losing capital by having to finance movies himself. The losses proving to be too great. He explained that his films made in the last decade were all self-financed and that he only made his video game adaptations to raise the funds for his passion projects.

“I’ve been using my money since 2005 and if I hadn’t made the stupid video game based movies I would never have amalgamated the capital so I could say, ‘Let’s make the Darfur movie,'” Boll stated. “I don’t need a Ferrari, I don’t need a yacht. I invested in my own movies and I lost money.”

Boll’s video game movies have been nominated for a total of 16 Razzies throughout his career, with Alone in the Dark being especially notable for it’s panning by critics. Jeffrey Lyles of The Gazette considered it so bad that, “…other legendary bad films…await a film of this magnitude because it gets awfully lonely on the island of misfit movies.” While Roger Moore of The Orlando Sentinel stated: “Alone in the Dark shows just how tenuous Plan 9 from Outer Space ‘s hold on that ‘worst movie ever’ title really is.”

Gamers have long been infuriated by Bolls movies, citing that they rarely have relation to the actual game that they are titled after. Having cheap special effects, horrible visuals, and writing/characters that spit on their beloved franchises and in their own faces as well. The potential of a BloodRayne or House of the Dead movie forever tainted in their minds. Comforted only in the knowledge that Boll failed in his bid to attempt to direct the 2016 Warcraft movie.

On behalf of the gaming community I would like to bid Uwe a fond farewell. You will not be missed……like at all.

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